I like organization, I like plans and I like following them and having them turn out just right. For being as much of a creative person as I am, I don’t like deviating from rules or directions. I mean, I even have difficulty walking against the arrow-directed paths in Ikea (which my mom loves doing, mainly because she knows how distressing it is for me). Spontaneity is just not my thing. If you wanna hang with me, we gotta discuss it in advance and make the appropriate plans.
When plans are made and life is organized and going according to plan, it’s safe. It’s predictable. And while it may not be the most exciting, I like safe. I know what’s going to happen and how to react and take the next step.
Unfortunately, however, life does not go according to plan and you really can’t organize it no matter how hard you try (trust me, I’ve tried and continue to do so).
The past 5 weeks I’ve been focusing most of my efforts on an intensive summer mini class for Anatomy and Physiology (which is one of the classes I need to take before applying to grad school). This class was hard- I mean it really kicked my butt because there was just SO MUCH to learn in such a short period of time. This past Monday was the final exam and I found out afterwards that if I had gotten 2 more questions (4 points total) correct, my entire grade for the class would have been higher- I would have gotten a B instead of a C. I asked my professor if there was anything I could do but the answer was no. Being that there was nothing else to be done, I promptly went to my car, called my mom and bawled my eyes out.
I’ve since realized that while the low grade distresses me greatly (especially after all the time and effort I put into that class) it’s really the lack of a plan that stresses me out the most.
My life revolves around having a “plan” and keeping with “the plan” or making necessary adjustments to “the plan” but what scares me the most is when things don’t go according to “plan”. I feel as if the final goal will not be accomplished,
Applying to grad schools, or anything where a person has the final say is extremely anxiety-induing because you never know for sure. Humans are fallible and unpredictable- it’s what makes us who we are. It makes us exciting.
But me? I like plans.
Now I’d like to conclude this with saying that I’ve now learned to not try to control things in my life so much, that I’ve learned to go with the flow but it’s just not true. While I’m working on it, where I am now is actually much better than were I was a few years ago, I have not learned to be calm and non-controlling.
In the end though, I like the comfort and illusion of safety in a well thought out plan.
With that talk out of the way, it’s time for some potato salad.
My grandfather’s birthday is today so every year we plan a big get-together for the whole family and simultaneously celebrate his birthday and the 4th of July. This year I claimed dibs on potato salad. I had made a recipe a few weeks back around my birthday (in which I didn’t get to eat much- boo) and it was a hit so I thought I’d recreate it with a little more attention to detail this time (aka, I measure out how I made it).
Creamy Potato Salad – Serves 5-6
2 1/2 lbs Red Thumb Potatoes (or other waxy varieties)
3/4 Cup Sour Cream
1/2 Cup Mayo
2 TBSP Whole Grain Mustard
1 TBSP Apple Cider Vinegar
1 1/2 TBSP (Packed) Chopped Fresh Dill
1/4 Cup Chopped Fresh Chives
Scrub potatoes and cut into small 1 inch cubes. Place in a large pot and cover potatoes with one inch of cold water on top. Add 1/2 tsp of salt. Bring to a boil and reduce to low for 3-5 minutes until potatoes are tender. Drain potatoes, cover and refrigerate. In a medium bowl mix together sour cream, mayo, mustard, vinegar, dill, chives and season with salt and lemon pepper. Once potatoes are cool, fold mixture in.
I usually make this the night before to let the flavors marinate but also to have one less thing to make the day of the party or picnic!